Never for a moment did I ever think before moving to Bulgaria that I would find myself chasing a goat around a field with my tape measure in hand with the classic Benny Hill chase tune playing in my head, when a goat doesn’t want to be measured they take quite a bit of catching, they’re surprisingly nimble and fast you know!!

Linda wanted a milking stand making, we looked on the internet for some photos and some ideas and came up with the following contraption,its made from standard sized planks and posts from the local wood yard, posts are 8×10 cm and planks are 2.5×10 cm and 2.5×16 cm with some 3x 4 cm roofing timber.

All the wood and screws etc came to about 35 Lev (15 GBP)

With just basic tools and some rudimentary measurements I started my epic wood butchery project, the length of the four posts was 130 cm.

The external width of the frame is 62 cm and the table height is 45 cm, the external length is 94 cm.

By the end of day one most of the frame was up but we needed to catch the goat once again to measure her neck, goats have very skinny necks it would appear, couldn’t believe what I was reading on the internet but it turned out to be correct, they’re necks are only three inches thick.

The length of the head scissors is 90 cm with a head slot cut in of  4 x 20 cm long.

At the end of the first day the frame, table and head clamp are finished.

Day two of  construction under the hot sun begins with a hinged ramp, the ramp is 80 cm long and 62 cm wide. I made the ramp hinged instead of rigid so it could be raised up to stop the goat kicking backwards once it was in position. Today the temperature was in the high twenties again, only five weeks ago it was -25c the seasons change very rapidly here!!

The feed box and some bracing were the last pieces to make,the top of the  feed box was 87 cm from the floor,  the contraption is starting to take on the look of  something from the French Revolution, so we have called it “Madam le Guillotine.” Ties for the goats legs can be placed on the four posts if necessary for a troublesome goat.

Linda modeling how a goat fits inside “Madam le Guillotine”, Linda was easier to catch and strangely  shares many similar measurements to a goat!!

All that’s left to do now is for Linda to spend a couple of days painting it!!


~ by travelswithmymotorbike on March 23, 2012.


  1. At least you know what to do with Linda when she misbehaves lol

  2. I heard that James!! mind you if I am locked up….cant work..do I get a pillow?

  3. Wood butcher lol ,I like that term think my grandad used to say words like that

    • Hi Owen,

      Yeah, its a term we used on the railways too for rough woodwork lol..



  4. I know people who would pay good money to be locked up in there lol

    • Hi Robo,

      I know a couple too, so far they haven’t asked to rent it lol..



  5. can’t wait to see how your going to get Mrs goat in and milked !!!!!
    video please with Benny Hill tune playing in the background

    • Hi Jackie,

      Apparently from what we’ve read on the internet its only training LOL…



  6. Nice bit of woodwork there Dave

  7. looks good to me!!

    • Hi Gary,

      Cheers, I photographed it from a distance to make it look better 🙂

  8. Have you tried it out yet mate?

    • Hi Stan,

      yep it works and we took photos, should do another follow up post really!!



  9. Thanks for sharing

    • Hi Jenn,

      Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to comment,



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