BATTERIES AND HOOKERS

My beloved Astra would not start yesterday, the old girl appeared to be out of electricity or do I detect a slight whiff  of sabotage from a rival Blog writer, desperate for a post…..Hmmm!!

Jumped in the car yesterday as usual, closed the door, turned the key and nothing other than the gently whir and clunk of the central locking bloody well locking me in!! Tried to pull the tabs up to unlock the door…..No, passed the key out to Linda through open rear door….No!!!

After 5 minutes of Linda wrestling and tugging at my door there was only one way out, climb over the seats and out through the back. I would not consider myself old or infirm, a little fat perhaps but you just can not imagine how bloody damn difficult it was to climb over the seats and in to the back.

As I was laying there on my back trying to untangle my foot from the headrest I thought about all the road side prostitutes that ply their trade here in Eastern Europe, how do they do it!! I’m not even trying to take my bloody trousers off here, these ladies of the road and their clients must either be  sprightly contortionists or under 30 years in age, take it from me, if your over 40 years old don’t bother stopping for a roadside lady, you’ll do your self an injury!!

Just as I was walking down the village to the mechanics shop, John pulls up,

”I understand you need to jump-start your car.” He said knowingly and holding back a grin.

How did he know, the whiff of conspiracy and sabotage grew ever stronger in my nose, he later claimed Linda phoned him. Phaa, a likely story!!

I will just pause briefly here in my ramblings, look how young I look in the above photo……Back to the story, I connected up the jump leads, and the central locking released its iron grip, opened the door and the interior light came on, this is all looking good!!

Turned the key in the ignition and nothing other than that clicking noise you get with flat batteries, the Escorts tiny AA battery was just not powerful enough to turn over my huge German built V8, neither John and I know anything about electricity or even much about cars, so we left johns car ticking over connected to mine and came back in to the house to get hold of Ian on SKYPE.

Ian was busy sunning himself in Turkey, but good mate that he is, he tore himself away from the beach to answer our distress call,

”Ian where’s all the electricity gone.”

”Try your earth strap.” He said

”Whats an Earth strap.” We said.

”A cable running from your battery to the cars body, see if its loose first then take it off, clean it and try to start the engine.”

Armed with new knowledge about car electricity, John and I ventured back out in to the snow, Dr. Ian was correct, there was indeed a cable running from the battery to the car body, I picked up a piece of wood and hit it several times, it was definitely not loose!!

I jumped in the car leaving the door open for fear of  being trapped again, turned the ignition key and the mighty Munich motor roared into life shaking the ground like a rampant T-Rex mating ritual.

Only last week I saw a battery charger in Praktika for 29 Lev (12 GBP)……..Perhaps I should have bought it 🙂

 

 

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~ by travelswithmymotorbike on December 29, 2010.

20 Responses to “BATTERIES AND HOOKERS”

  1. LOL Happened to me once, its much harder than you think crawling out through the back lol

    • Hi Stan,

      Yes, the more modern conveniences we have the harder life becomes lol

      Cheers,

      Dave…..

  2. So boys and girls ıf your ever in Bulgaria in snowy conditions please DO NOT forget to place your PIECE OF WOOD in your Emergency survival pack!!!! you know it makes sense 😉

  3. Uncle Davie:

    It’s a conspiracy I tell you. You need a 3rd eye to keep an eye on MD, when he’s got that gleam in his eye.

    Oh . . . it’s easier in a Van

    bob
    Wet Coast Scootin

    • Hi Uncle Bob,

      At first I thought it was just me, but now you mention conspiracy also – It must be true!!

      Is that why you have a van 🙂

      Cheers,

      Dave….

  4. You see, you never know when a piece of wood comes in handy. Central locking is a curse, that’s why I don’t have it. 🙂

    • Hi PJ,

      Its very reassuring that old cars like ours are fixable with a rock and a lump of wood lol

      Did some research in to batteries, when they freeze they loose their charge so bought myself a battery charger today, the freezing might also explain why MD’s battery had no guts in it also!!

      Cheers,

      Dave….

  5. Its the roadside girls we’re interested in…Wheres the photos!!

    • Hi Robo,

      No photos of the roadside girls at the moment but soon as the weather gets a little warmer (They wear less) I2ll snap a few next time we’re out in the car 🙂

      Cheers,

      Dave….

  6. Uncle Davie:

    Are you holding out on us ? Get your Chinese Camera out and snap a few of the Roadside Girls.

    bob
    Wet Coast Scootin

    • Hi Uncle Bob,

      I’ve just promised Robo to take a few picies of the roadside girls later, they have big thick coats on at the moment but wear considerable less in summer lol

      Cheers,

      Dave….

  7. Roadside hookers…No way……..I want to see more of them gorgeous hunks on the beaches !!
    By the way nice blog about Bulgarian living.

    Sally xxx

    • Hi Sally,

      Welcome aboard,please feel free to comment anytime…..Well it just so happens that Ian has a twin brother called Steve (Much more handsome) and hes always posing for the camera!!

      Cheers,

      Dave…..

  8. What about your friend John, he must have some pics of the road side ladies to share with us, need something to warm our eyes on these long cold nights lol

  9. Sabotage for sure….And john disappears at the same time!!

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