A MIDLIFE CRISIS or THE LAST CHANCE SALOON

God is definitely a man, Feminists have been hinting that God may be a woman……Pah!…No chance, He’s a bloke and this is how I know. The male and female menopause, known as THE MIDLIFE CRISIS, are completely different.

The female menopause consists mainly of sweating for ten years, accompanied by a bubbling cauldron of emotional soup producing daily if not hourly mood swings, and plastic surgery.

The male menopause on the other hand is ten years of either chasing chicks or   fast cars and big bikes, Wow…….. what a reward for entering   your 40’s  guys, you can’t tell me  God’s  not  on our  side!

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So whats my Midlife Crisis about?  Unfinished business really, I bought my first motorbike at age 17 and wanted to travel the World on it…….trouble is, you never have any money at that age, then the next chapter of  life usually  ushers in a wife, kids and a mortgage, this translates to no money again and now, no time…..double bummer !!  The window of opportunity is actually very narrow, by the time a chap has survived into his 40’s he ‘s  had the several divorces, the kids have left home, but now we have the rest of our lives to do as we please, or do we ?

For some reason, yet to be made clear by either science or Mother Nature, the hair that falls out from our heads is replaced by thick bushels of hair sprouting vigorously from our nose and ears, quite what purpose this serves is beyond me at the moment, perhaps its some kind of  DNA software glitch, or does thick nasal hair and fluffy ears make us chaps more attractive to women?…. Probably !!

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The aches that start when you wake up in the morning, the failing eye sight, having to pee three times as often, policemen look too young, your kids speak and write a strange new language that you cant understand, fat fingers and poor eye sight make operating modern day electronic devises a nightmare, these are the signs of impending midlife crisis. By far the worst sign is your strength starts to gently ebb away, 40 to 50 is the big danger zone of change, I’m in the zone, but I embrace it, and run with it…….well, walk briskly !

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I think it’s more the case of LAST CHANCE SALOON, got the money, got the time, but bummer……strength is going, so how many more years could I wrestle with a 450lb motorbike, off-road !!     I am a goal orientated person, what I want from life, I have got, except for the big bike tour, its the only outstanding thing from my life’s wish list, it’s remained in my head for 30 years now. Is it practical?…..Hell no……. Is it wise?….Definitely not…….So whats the point?……Adventure, is vitamins for the sole and travel is the best education to understand a crazy World.

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Ten thousand miles sat on top of 450lbs of  roaring Iron and steel, hurtling down a road full of blind maniac car drivers is a lot less dangerous and expensive than chasing chicks!!

Choose your medicine carefully.

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~ by travelswithmymotorbike on March 5, 2009.

6 Responses to “A MIDLIFE CRISIS or THE LAST CHANCE SALOON”

  1. Middle age crisis my foot…what you need is a good Ale and some fish and chips… Very good post and will comment later…right now I have to rush and prepare for my last minute trip to…guess where…yup…you guessed it…Las Vegas, Here I come.
    Business trip…!!!
    This post is good but I need to read it again…getting old in my old age so to speak.
    Cheers

    • Hi berge,

      Business trip to vegas huh…wink..wink….enjoy mate and speak when your back.

  2. “The female menopause consists mainly of sweating for ten years, accompanied by a bubbling cauldron of emotional soup producing daily if not hourly mood swings, and plastic surgery.”

    I must be a little different..

    I’m a girl and for my 40th learned to ride and bought a sportbike 🙂

    • Hi Rave,

      yep I’m a little different also, bikes and touring light my candle…It’s a great age to be !! Don’t know why people complain about midle age lol. I think its great you bought a bike Raven, are you going to do a blog about your adventures on it ?

      Cheers

      Dave..

  3. Hi Dave,

    Middle age is great, the kids are older and don’t need constant attention 🙂 so I get time to do my own thing sometimes, WOOHOO!!!!

    I reckon I found the fountain of youth in my motorbike, it’s unbelievable and I love it.

    I do have a blog, its here http://ravenbladerider.wordpress.com/ Its mainly aimed at girls, seeing as I am one 🙂 and it’s proving popular! Not many adventures yet as not been that far on it over the winter, what witht he weather being rubbish, but now things are starting to look better out there I’m definately looking at going further distances!

    • Hi Raven,

      Cheers for the link, just looked at your blog, very impresive…..tried to leave you a comment but fat fingers and poor eye sight made it difficult lol..

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